


Building A Better Boyfriend

by SilverAmoebasquid



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: //end rant, Also someone stop Yahaba and Futakuchi, FutaYaha, He deserves more love because he is beautiful and awful and my son, Inferiority Complex, M/M, Not that any of these aren't... I just.... Yeah, Second gen captains, TeruShira, This one was seriously fun, Yahaba is 'the shipper friend' according to Starlity and I it's hilarious, ennoaka - Freeform, he is the cause of all horrid things in this world, he pairs up all his friends in his heads and imagines perfect situations for them, help him, help the bab child, im kidding i love Yahaba with every fiber of my being, oh boy, stop him, then gets mad when it doesn't happen perfectly like that, will do anything in his power to reenact his personal fantasies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-11-30 02:47:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11454384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverAmoebasquid/pseuds/SilverAmoebasquid
Summary: Surrounded by couples who are great at showering each other with affection, Shirabu starts feeling a little self-conscious of the fact that he and Terushima aren't as cuddly. And it's all his fault.





	Building A Better Boyfriend

“Alright! Let’s do this!” Futakuchi exclaimed, snapping the sweatband around his forehead dramatically, sending a few tufts of hair flying out of place.

Yahaba stepped in front of him. “Better buckle the fuck up, Shirabubu, because we’re about to shift you into the next gear.”

Shirabu glared and sat back in his desk chair. “This was a mistake. Why the hell did I ask you two of all people for help...”

Futakuchi spun Shirabu’s swivel chair around to face the door. “Because,  _ Kenjirou _ , your boyfriend is going to step through that door in five minutes give or take so you need  _ fast _ advice. So what do you say, will you be employing our services?”

Shirabu crossed his arms over his chest and spun himself back around to face the guests in his dorm room. “Yeah, whatever.”

“Say it.” Yahaba sat himself down on Shirabu’s bed and crossed his legs.

“I’m not saying it.”

Futakuchi pulled his phone from his pocket and trained the camera on Shirabu. “Say it.”

“Fuck you guys! Fine, I need your help.”

Satisfied, Futakuchi put his phone away and perched on the edge of Shirabu’s desk. “That wasn’t so hard, was it? Alright, what exactly do you want us to do?”

Shirabu sighed. “Like I said, I want to be a better boyfriend. I want to be able to reciprocate the affection that Yuuji gives me, but I don’t always know what to do in particular contexts or I just chicken out.”

Futakuchi fished his phone back out of his pocket. “Say that thing about chickening out again.”

“Fuck off!” Shirabu spat. “Just tell me what to do.”

“How much do we charge for our tutoring services?” Yahaba shot his own boyfriend a smirk.

“Guys,” Shirabu pleaded, “Yuuji’s going to be up here in like thirty seconds; please just help me out!”

“Fine, we’ll discuss the price later,” Yahaba waved dismissively. “We can give you a couple ‘wink wink, nudge nudge’ s when we all go out, but there are a few lessons we can cover in here first. Have you guys fucked yet?”

Shirabu almost toppled out of his chair. “No! Hell no! We’ve only been together for five months!”

Futakuchi shrugged. “Suit yourself. Have you French-kissed?”

“Not really... We almost did once, but I backed down. We’ve never even spent the night in the same bed before.”

“Oh, come on!” Yahaba whined. “You’ve never spent the night?”

Shirabu picked at a loose thread on his shirt. “He’s spent the night at my house twice, but he slept on the couch downstairs...”   
“What do you people do when you’re together then!?” Yahaba asked incredulously.

“I can’t say I’m entirely surprised that fucking and kissing are the only things you guys know how to do,” Shirabu shot back, rising to his feet.

Futakuchi stood up as well. “Pardon me, there’s more to our relationship than just—”

“Calm down!” Yahaba smacked Futakuchi’s shoulder. “Let him live in his little bubble of purity and innocence.”

Shirabu was on the verge of kicking them out of his room. “Are you guys going to give me pointers or are you just going to make fun of me?

“In time,” Futakuchi brushed Shirabu off. “I texted Teru that one of his kouhai was still here looking for him so that should stall him long enough for us to talk.”

Shirabu rolled his eyes. “Please don’t lie to my boyfriend...”

“Anyway!” Yahaba jumped up and re-seated himself on Shirabu’s desk next to Futakuchi. “Phase one: before we leave here. It was pretty sweet of you to host an afternoon practice session at your school so you’re doing okay.”

“It was also pretty sweet of you to only invite Johzenji and make Teru ask the rest of us over,” Futakuchi inserted, rolling his eyes.

Shirabu scowled. “I didn’t  _ want _ to invite the rest of you guys.”

Yahaba examined his fingernails. “Your rich-ass charter school has plenty of space for six teams. We could get together like this  _ way _ more often than we do. That’s beside the point though. When Teru, Ennoshita, and Akaashi finally get their slow asses up here, you say thank you for coming, you stick to his side, maybe kiss him, definitely give him one of those shy smiles that he’s so obsessed with.”

Shirabu felt his cheeks heat up. “What?”

Futakuchi gestured with his phone. “We have a group chat without you. Teru just sits there and rants about you. It’s kinda cute and a little bit sad how obsessed he is.”

“You guys have a group chat without me?” Shirabu narrowed his eyes.

Futakuchi yawned and leaned against the wall. “Teru started it so he could talk about you in private. Most of the time we just use it for puns and memes and stuff because you murder us when we try to have a little fun in our main chat.”

“That hasn’t stopped you in our main chat...”

“You can’t take away all our fun, you know. Anyhow, this is off-topic. So when he gets up here, just be cute. He’ll be smitten as usual and the chat will be blowing up with his yelling for days. It’ll be great.”

“But anyway,” Yahaba interrupted. “Step two, the six of us can’t ever get anything done fast so we’ll probably end up in here for a few minutes. Take advantage of that. Take advantage of the space. You’ve got a bed. Cuddle.”

“No way! I’m not cuddling with all of you guys in the room!”

“Hey, who came to whom for romance advice?” Yahaba snapped. “Whatever. Phase two: dinner. We’re going somewhere decently nice so please for the love of all things good in this world, don’t order mac n cheese. No one wants to date a child. Not even Teru.”

Shirabu was too offended to care about comebacks anymore so he just sat still with a glare plastered onto his face as Futakuchi spoke up again.

“You can lean against him a little bit, let your legs touch under the table, subtly touch his crotch or something. Put your head on his shoulder; he’d flip.” Futakuchi rested his leg against Yahaba’s to demonstrate.

Shirabu sighed, filtering out the good advice from the shit.

“Just be soft, a little submissive maybe. Let him pay for you. It’ll be adorable,” Yahaba fantasized. “We’re going to his house after dinner, right? Phase three: Teru’s house. We’ll make sure to pick a romantic movie to watch. Make yourself open to cuddling and he’ll do all the work for you. All you have to do is look cute and stay close to him. If he’s hesitant, you can initiate the cuddle.”

“I don’t know how to initiate cuddling.” Shirabu rolled his eyes. “He’s not going to go for it. He knows I don’t like touching when there are other people in the room.”

“That’s why you initiate the cuddling,” Yahaba said like it was obvious. “It’s not hard to start. You’re a bottom so—”

“We don’t even do that!”

“Doesn’t matter. You’re a bottom. Just accept your fate. Place yourself in his arms. Like this.” Yahaba slung Futakuchi’s arm around his shoulders and leaned against his chest in one fluid movement.

Shirabu couldn’t argue that it looked natural and playfully flirtatious.

“You try.” Yahaba hopped off the desk.

“What?” Shirabu asked intelligently.

Futakuchi held his arms out. “Practice or it’ll never work on the spot.”

“I’m not cuddling you.” Shirabu scowled.

“Settle down,” Yahaba rolled his eyes, “it’s just like practicing kissing with your best friend. Totally fine if you both acknowledge the platonic-ness.”

Shirabu still didn’t want any arms around him, but he grudgingly stood up from his chair and sat next to Futakuchi on the desk. He exhaled slowly and pulled himself into Futakuchi’s arms.

“Eh. Not terrible,” Yahaba commented. “You’ll get better over time. Next.”

Futakuchi put practiced arms around Shirabu loosely. “Pop quiz, how do you get from here to the next level?”

Shirabu hoped he wasn’t blushing, but he wasn’t sure. “Don’t know but we’re not going there.”

“Do you want to woo Teru or nah?”

“Shut up.”

“Roll yourself over so you’re straddling my legs. My attention can’t be on the movie anymore. It’s on you. Which is exactly what you want. Try it.”

Shirabu exhaled and flung himself over Futakuchi’s legs so they were face to face.

“Yeah, okay, you might still have a chance. This is pretty hot.”

Shirabu was about to punch Futakuchi in the face when the room’s door suddenly opened. Panic raced through him and he flung himself away from Futakuchi, forgetting they were sitting on the desk and ending up sprawled on the floor.

“I’m going to regret asking, but, Shirabu, why were you sitting on Futakuchi?” Akaashi held the door open for Ennoshita then let it fall closed.

“Is Yuuji with you guys?” Shirabu asked, heart still racing.

“He said he’d be up in a few minutes. Your locker rooms have really nice showers, by the way,” Ennoshita said casually, running a hand through his damp hair.

“Is he down there?” Shirabu asked.

“He was doing his hair when we left,” Akaashi filled in. “You could just go down there if you wanted to cuddle instead of having to settle for Futakuchi.”

“Hey!” Futakuchi snapped.

“We weren’t cuddling!” Shirabu couldn’t control his blushing very well.

“We’re giving him lessons on how to be more romantic,” Yahaba explained. “Any tips?”

“Did you tell him about how weak Teru is for those really small, shy smiles—”

“Yeah, I got it.” Shirabu huffed and stood up. “Leave me alone. So after we cuddle each other to death, what do I do?”

Yahaba smirked. “We’ll all leave and you let him tap that.” He reached out to grab Shirabu’s ass.

“Get off me!” Shirabu yelled, stumbling backward into the wall next to the door just as it opened again.

Relief mixing with rage, Shirabu grabbed Terushima’s hand and pulled him out of the room. “I’m done. We’re not going to dinner with them. Tell them to leave my room and never talk to me again.”

Laughing slightly, the other four trailed out of the dorm room, shutting the door behind them.

Terushima looked back and forth between his fellow captains and his boyfriend. “What? Why?”

“We were just messing with him,” Futakuchi snickered. “It’s not exactly new information that he hates all of us.”

“Kenjirou, don’t hate them!” Terushima skipped ahead to catch up with Shirabu who was angrily storming down the hall.

“I don’t hate them,” Shirabu sighed and slowed his pace. “Sorry for getting angry.”

“Do you still want to go out tonight all together?”

Shirabu stopped. “Yes. That is the plan.”

Terushima tilted his head. “We’d call it off if it was actually going to make you uncomfortable.”

Shirabu turned away to hide the blush spreading over his cheeks. “Stop being so... good.”

Terushima laughed and hugged Shirabu from behind. “Kenjirou! I love you!”

Shirabu was content to close his eyes and enjoy the tight grip Terushima had until Yahaba walked past him and lightly kicked his shoe, shooting him a “go on” gesture.

Shirabu’s heart skipped a beat and he quickly turned himself to throw his arms around Terushima.

The spiker pulled away in surprise. “Kenjirou?”

Shirabu blushed and took ahold of his boyfriend’s hand to lead him onward after the others of their party.

 

The late-autumn evening was cool and Shirabu kept his hand entwined with Terushima’s inside the taller’s jacket pocket.

The restaurant they were headed to was about 15 minutes from Shiratorizawa and 10 minutes from Terushima’s house, making it a conveniently short walk for the practice-tired teenagers.

“So that was a pretty successful practice session, yeah?” Ennoshita began.

“One of these days, Shigeru’s underclassmen will finally start listening to me, but yeah sure. Successful.” Futakuchi nudged Yahaba playfully.

Yahaba linked their arms together. “They respect you, Kenji. They just do it in a... unique way. I promise.”

“Whatever. No one on your team will ever love me the way that Koganegawa loves you. He follows you around like a puppy every time our teams are anywhere near each other. No one from your team loves me.”

“I happen to love you quite a bit,” Yahaba reached up to kiss Futakuchi’s cheek.

Futakuchi grinned. “I didn’t mean like that.”

Yahaba snickered and slid his arm around Futakuchi’s waist. “I know.”

Ennoshita scoffed. “ _ Anyway _ , I thought it was really good. Thank you for letting us all invade Shiratorizawa’s gym.”

“Of course.” Shirabu nodded. “I was just surprised by how many of your players showed up. Our rivalry is still pretty intense sometimes.”

“I’ve been trying to get them all to see that you guys can be our friends even if our teams have had some rough patches. Most of them wouldn’t miss out on extra volleyball practice for the world, so it wasn’t that hard to convince them to come along.”

Yahaba looked over his shoulder. “It’s okay, Shirabu, you haven’t lost your touch. My team still hates yours.”

Shirabu narrowed his eyes. “Good. I never asked to be chummy with Seijou.”

“Can you people stop arguing for like three minutes?” Akaashi sighed.

Futakuchi started laughing. “Speaking of arguments, Ennoshita, are you ever going to get your second years under control? They’re hilarious.”

Ennoshita rolled his eyes. “I’m trying. They just get a little excited from time to time. Actually, they listen to Keiji better than they listen to me so that’s my solution most of the time.”

“That’s not true,” Akaashi reassured, smiling slightly. “Your furious-captain voice stops them in their tracks. You’re a great captain.”

Ennoshita smiled and leaned his head against Akaashi’s shoulder. “Thanks. And thanks for still stepping in as extra authority when I need the help.”

Akaashi nodded, encircling his boyfriend in a hug. “When your upperclassmen are less mature than you, you get a jump start at managing immature underclassmen.”

Yahaba chuckled. “Betcha Teru’s underclassmen know all about that.”

“Hey!” Terushima laughed. “My children love me!”

“You call them children,” Futakuchi pointed out.

“That’s not even the half of it,” Shirabu inserted. “Go explore Johzenji’s supply closet and you will find not only volleyball supplies, but also a slip n’ slide, a ouija board, several beach balls, a piñata, and a steak knife.”

“What’s the knife for?” Futakuchi asked, sounding nervous.

Shirabu looked up at his boyfriend. “Do you want to tell them the story of the piñata that’s made of tougher stuff than the Johzenji Volleyball Club?”

Terushima snickered. “Listen, I have no idea what the manufacturers did to that thing, but it was indestructible. The baseball bat did not work. We tried cutting it, we tried  _ burning _ it, we tried soaking it in the sink, we threw rocks at it, I’m pretty sure it could take on Superman and win.”

The others laughed.

“Only at Johzenji...” Ennoshita commented. “Your entire team is ridiculous. This kind of thing happens a lot to you guys, doesn’t it.”

“Yep!” Terushima agreed. “Trouble just seems to find us. We didn’t ask for it!”

“That’s a lie; you absolutely ask for it,” Shirabu commented, stepping away from Terushima as the small restaurant came into view and he held the door open for his friends.

Passing through the door, Futakuchi leaned in to whisper in Shirabu’s ear. “Holding hands was a nice touch, but you gotta kick it up a notch. You’re doing good.”

Shirabu bit his lip and filed inside at the end of the line.

“Aaah, it’s so warm in here!” Terushima commented happily, rolling up the sleeves of his hoodie.

“What, you weren’t warm enough holding Shirabu’s hand?” Ennoshita teased.

“Oh, Kenjirou’s hands are always so warm, I love it!” Terushima bounced back to grab at Shirabu’s wrist.

Shirabu was about to pull away, but instead paused and looked up at Terushima with a soft, shy smile.

Terushima instantly stilled as well, his mischievous smile turning into an enamored one.

Feeling victorious, Shirabu pulled Terushima towards the table they usually occupied when they came here alone. The table was a booth on one side with two chairs on the other. Shirabu slid in first, followed by Terushima, Ennoshita, and Akaashi while Futakuchi and Yahaba took to the chairs.

“I already know exactly what I’m getting!” Terushima exclaimed as a server came by with an armful of menus and rolled silverware.

“What’s good?” Futakuchi asked, looking at the menu upside-down.

“A lot of things! I’m getting that grilled chicken that you’d be able to see if you were holding the menu correctly.”

“I can read just fine like this,” Futakuchi laughed at the perturbed look Yahaba was giving him.

“Kenji, we’re in public. Act like an adult please.” Yahaba crossed his arms and glared.

“Sorry, babe, I forget, you’re all about appearances.” Futakuchi leaned back in his chair and started to put his feet on the table when Yahaba smacked him back down roughly.

“You’re such an embarrassment!” Yahaba hissed over Futakuchi’s laughter.

“What else do you like here, Terushima?” Ennoshita asked, looking faintly amused by the raucous behavior on the other side of the table.

Terushima rocked side to side slightly. “I really like the pork sandwich and they have some really good mac n cheese here. Like. 10/10 Yuujis will steal some from Kenjirou tonight if he’s okay with that. Kenjirou?”

Shirabu had been staring at the menu for the entire duration of the conversation.

“Kenjirou?” Terushima asked again. “Are you getting mac n cheese?”

Shirabu shook his head.

“What are you getting...?”

Shirabu didn’t realize a laminated sheet of paper could be so daunting.

The waiter had returned and was taking their orders. He looked expectantly at Shirabu.

“The... grilled chicken...” Shirabu swallowed. “I guess.”

“Oh,” Terushima frowned. “I was looking forward to stealing some of your mac n cheese. That’s okay though, I’ll just get it for myself.”

The waiter nodded and collected their menus before heading back to the kitchen.

Futakuchi and Yahaba were barely restraining laughter on the other side of the table.

Whether or not his meal would turn out to be a disaster, Shirabu was still determined to go through with his plan. He pressed himself against Terushima and leaned his head to rest on Terushima’s shoulder.

Terushima looked over immediately and reached up to pet Shirabu’s hair. “You okay?”

Shirabu pushed himself harder against Terushima. “Yes.”

Terushima slid an arm around his waist and leaned down to speak softly into Shirabu’s ear. “If you’re too tired, we can just go home.”

“I’m not tired.”

“You seem tired.”

Shirabu straightened up and cleared his throat. “Fine. Sorry.”

 

Within ten minutes, the food was brought out to the table and Shirabu stared down at his plate of chicken that he didn’t really want. He speared a bit of chicken and jammed it into his mouth. He didn’t like it. The spices were weird and there was too much of something he couldn’t identify. He didn’t like it, but Futakuchi and Yahaba were still watching him from the other side of the table so he didn’t really have a choice.

Terushima nudged Shirabu under the table and made him look up. “Can I steal a bite of your chicken?”

Shirabu pushed the plate toward him. “Have as much as you like.”

Terushima suppressed a smile as he swapped their two plates of food. “Great. I’ll take all of it.”

Shirabu was left with a heavenly plate of mac n cheese in front of him and he sighed happily.

Either Yahaba or Futakuchi kicked him under the table, but he just shoved a spoonful of pasta into his mouth and flipped them off.

Terushima never quite stopped smiling from that moment on and Shirabu shifted his leg to cross Terushima’s at the ankle.

The six hungry teenagers fell into the closest thing to silence they could manage, tucking into their food and swapping only minimal conversation throughout.

Terushima sat back when he was about 3/4 done with his meal. Yahaba and Futakuchi were finished already, having stuck to their normal ritual of racing through food while attempting to steal from each other’s plates undetected. Akaashi and Ennoshita were taking a bit more time, though they were nearly finished as well.

Shirabu was only about halfway done though he was starting to get full. He’d ask for a to-go box next time the waiter stopped at their table.

Terushima nudged his hand into Shirabu’s. “Why don’t we come here more often. I love this place. I love today! Today was so good! Thank you, all of you guys for coming because I love getting to practice and have fun all of us together!”

There was a scatter of agreements.

“Yeah, besides the usual rivalries, today was pretty chill, wasn’t it,” Yahaba commented glancing at Shirabu.

“I can’t fix our teams’ fighting,” Shirabu shrugged. “Don’t come next time if you’re gonna get butthurt about it.”

Terushima squeezed Shirabu’s hand. “Can we get just our teams together again soon? My team loves yours.” He stuck his tongue out at Yahaba.

Shirabu smiled slightly. “It’ll have to be informal like this again. I’m still working on getting us permission to have mandatory mass practice sessions.”

“Is that issue still causing problems?” Akaashi asked.

“It’s not Shiratorizawa’s fault entirely,” Terushima informed. “There are a lot of formalities we’d have to go through with all of our teams from teachers and coaches and stuff for it to be an official ‘trip’ to go play somewhere else. It’s easy enough to do with one team for casual practice matches but it takes longer to get all six of our teams coordinated.”

“I’m working on it,” Shirabu said, flagging down the waiter and motioning for a box.

Terushima grinned and bumped his shoulder against Shirabu’s. “Kenjirou’s done a lot of extra work to be able to get us all permission to come at all and we should all be really grateful and... buy him dinner!”

Shirabu scoffed, taking the plastic box offered to him and shoving his leftover food into it. “Stop trying to buy me dinner, Yuuji.”

Shirabu looked up to Yahaba glaring at him. The other setter  _ had _ told him to let Terushima buy him dinner. Shirabu wasn’t sure about letting go of that bit of his pride just yet though. “We had an agreement not to try to buy each other dinner because we have enough things to argue about already.”

“Kenjirou!” Terushima whined. “You’ve paid for me like three times when I’ve forgotten my wallet!”

Shirabu did his best to keep the smile off his face. “That doesn’t count though because it was out of necessity.”

“I’m buying you dinner!” Terushima yelled snatching Shirabu’s check out of the air as the waiter brought the receipts over.

“Hey! Give it!” Shirabu ripped it out of Terushima’s hand and dug his wallet out before his boyfriend could steal it back.

Terushima smooshed his face into Shirabu’s arm in protest.

Futakuchi cleared his throat from the other side of the table.

Shirabu huffed and set the receipt down on the table where Terushima hurriedly grabbed it, beaming. Shirabu guessed it made him happy, so he could let it slide one time.

 

When they stepped back outside, it was even colder.

“I think winter’s here,” Yahaba commented, looking up into the clear sky, dotted with stars and stuffing his hands into his pants pockets.

“I hope we get snow soon!” Terushima said excitedly.

“You said you don’t like snow,” Shirabu pointed out, worming his hand into Terushima’s again. “You get cold easily.”

“Oh,” Terushima shrugged. “Well, yeah, but it’s still pretty. Winter is still a great season!”

The six began the walk to Terushima’s house quietly, all tired from the hectic day and content to let the calm, clear night silence them.

Shirabu thought quietly to himself. Terushima had definitely been smiling a lot at him this evening so maybe the advice was working. All of the touching and cuddling didn’t feel particularly natural to him, but if Terushima was happy, he could learn to get used to it.

He looked up to see Futakuchi and Yahaba shooting him looks and he realized Terushima was watching him too. Shirabu blushed and looked at the ground.

Terushima snickered softly and squeezed the hand he was holding. “You okay? You look like you’re thinking,” he said quietly.

“I’m fine,” Shirabu replied, leaning against his boyfriend more.

Terushima looked curious but didn’t say anything more as they approached his house. Terushima started to fumble with his backpack to grab his keys but Shirabu put a hand on his arm to stop him.

Shirabu’s set of keys was handy in his pocket and he quickly unlocked the door to let everyone in out of the cold night.

“Do you guys want anything?” Terushima asked. “There are snacks in the kitchen.”

“In a bit, I’m still full from dinner,” Ennoshita commented, hanging up his jacket and falling onto the couch. Akaashi was quick to sit down next to him.

Yahaba and Futakuchi seated themselves as well though Shirabu stayed standing while Terushima knelt down in front of the TV. “I know what I want, but if you guys have preferences, let’s hear it.”

“Either Jaws or something disgustingly romantic!” Yahaba called out.

Futakuchi smacked him. “For the last time, we’re not watching Jaws!”

“What were thinking, Teru?” Ennoshita asked.

“Let’s start a new anime together! We can watch a few episodes here and there when we’re all together.”

No one protested so Terushima popped open the DVD and then threw himself onto the couch, patting the seat next to him for Shirabu to sit.

Shirabu placed himself next to his boyfriend, almost close enough to touch, but not quite.

Futakuchi cleared his throat loudly and Shirabu scooted closer so his and Terushima’s legs were touching.

Terushima glanced at him but redirected his attention to the TV after a moment.

Shirabu figured this alone was more than they usually touched while watching TV together so while it wasn’t anything too dramatic, hopefully, Terushima would receive the message Shirabu was attempting to send.

Two episodes into the anime, Shirabu felt his phone buzz softly in his pocket. The text from Yahaba read “are you just going to sit there like that the whole night??”

Shirabu looked around the room. Slightly obscured by the darkness, Ennoshita was curled up against Akaashi’s chest while Akaashi rubbed his back. Yahaba wasn’t even watching at all, instead sitting backward in Futakuchi’s lap while Futakuchi kissed him and ran his hands up Yahaba’s legs.

Shirabu glanced over at Terushima who surely had noted the stark contrast between them and their friends, but didn’t seem particularly bothered. A wave of guilt flooded Shirabu’s mind. All this time they’d spent together and he’d done nothing to satisfy his boyfriend’s wishes. Terushima liked touching but Shirabu had practically trained it out of him over the last months to the point where he didn’t even ask anymore.

Like he’d attempted to do back in his dorm room with Futakuchi, Shirabu took hold of Terushima’s arm and flung himself into an embrace.

Terushima looked down suddenly at the warm body pressed against his. “Do you need something?”

Shirabu shook his head and turned back to the TV, heart racing. He could still feel Terushima’s eyes on him.

The embrace didn’t feel natural in any way and Shirabu couldn’t pull his focus back to the show. Not only was he not used to being so close to anyone for an extended period of time like this, but the hug didn’t feel as good as he was used to anyway. When Terushima usually hugged him, it felt warm and relaxed and Shirabu found himself easily flustered into pulling away. This felt stiff and unwelcomed. Had he really made cuddling such a foreign concept to Terushima?

“Next level,” Shirabu mouthed to no one, taking a breath and seating himself over Terushima’s legs, placing his hands on the spiker’s shoulders and resting their foreheads together.

Terushima narrowed his eyes. “Kenjirou, what are you doing? Get off me.”

In a last ditch effort, Shirabu leaned forward to push his mouth against Terushima’s. If there was any time to try a more intense form of kissing, this was it.

Terushima pushed him away almost instantly and shoved him onto his own couch cushion before standing up and leaving the room.

Shirabu was frozen in place, watching him leave.

The attention of the others was on him as well now.

“What did I do wrong...” Shirabu asked softly. He couldn’t make himself look at the others.

He watched the doorway that Terushima had left through for several minutes until his boyfriend reappeared.

Without saying a word, Terushima sat back down, specifically not touching Shirabu.

Shirabu made no move to get closer again.

The episode had ended and the tension in the room was up to the ceiling.

Akaashi cleared his throat. “It is a little late. Chikara and I should probably be going.”

“Us too,” Futakuchi said quietly, standing up and pulling Yahaba quietly behind him.

Terushima saw his guests to the door while Shirabu sat stiff and still on the couch.

When the front door shut loudly, Shirabu flinched and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, Terushima was kneeling in front of him on the floor.

“I’m sorry...” Shirabu started. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“No, I’m sorry!” Terushima pleaded. “I’m the one at fault here!”

“What? No, you’re not! I was being dumb and pushy and I shouldn’t have! I went too far and I’m sorry!”

“But I’m the one who made you feel like you weren’t enough!”

Shirabu froze. “What?”

Terushima also stilled. “Wait... what?”

“What are you thinking...”

Terushima looked down. “There’s too much pressure on you. You compare yourself with the others and you feel like you need to change yourself to make me happy. I haven’t done a good job of convincing you that you’re perfect.”

Shirabu considered for a moment. “That’s not... That’s not it. The others have nothing to do with this. I just don’t know how to show you how much you mean to me and I’m not good at affection so I asked Futakuchi and Yahaba for romance advice and—”

“Wait,” Terushima interrupted. “You went to  _ Futakuchi and Yahaba  _ for romance advice? You realize that they live to mess with you and their idea of romance is crashing other people's parties, flirting with everyone they can get their hands on, and generally being the worst homewreckers you’ll ever meet.”

Shirabu blushed. “Most of what they said made sense, okay? In theory, it seemed like it should work.”

“What did they tell you to do?”

“They told me to be submissive, but make myself available to you, maybe let you pay for dinner, initiate cuddles on the couch, smile shyly like you enjoy.”

Terushima sat up on the couch next to Shirabu. “You know, in theory, that might have actually worked.”

Shirabu smiled at the ground. “Why didn’t it?”

Terushima reached out and pulled his boyfriend into a backward hug. “Because it's you and when you get all clingy, that's weird and I get alarmed.”

“Oh. Sorry for freaking you out.”

“What did you think of it?”

“Of what?”

“Cuddling. Being affectionate.”

“It felt weird. Kinda forced. Which, I mean, it was a little forced, but... I don’t know. It just didn’t feel natural. Maybe you can help me make it feel better.”

Terushima shook his head, smiling softly as he stood up. “I’m not helping you with anything. If you want to cuddle, I’ll cuddle, but I’m not helping you become someone you’re not. I’m happy with what you’re happy with.”

Shirabu frowned and followed his boyfriend upstairs to his bedroom. “But I’ll be happy if you’re happy.”

Terushima softly shut the door, leaving them in the darkness of the bedroom where Shirabu wouldn’t have to get embarrassed about blushing. “I am happy though. I’m happy with you being you. I think bickering and quick touches are more our style anyway instead of long kisses and laying on top of each other, don’t you think?”

Terushima sat down on the edge of his bed and patted the mattress for Shirabu to sit down next to him.

Shirabu smiled and placed himself only centimeters away. “But sometimes it’s okay?”

“Only if you want it.”

“I don’t like it when there are other people around. It feels better when we’re alone. I don’t like when other people can see.”

Terushima lightly ran his fingers over the back of Shirabu’s hand. “I know. Which is why I thought tonight was so weird.”

“I do think I’m getting better, though.”

“Don’t say ‘better’. Being cuddly isn’t a goal. The goal is to be you which you’re doing wonderfully.”

Shirabu smirked and kicked Terushima’s foot lightly. “Fine. It does feel more comfortable than it used to. I’m okay with that. I like it.”

“Yeah? Don’t think you have to do anything to make me happy though.”

“I know. But it makes me happy too.”

“I’m glad to hear that then. Are you wiped out or do you want to spend the night?”

“Can I stay here?”

“Mhm!”

“Futakuchi and Yahaba thought it was crazy that I’ve never slept at your house before.”

Terushima rolled his eyes. “I’m pretty sure they woohooed after their first date. Don’t try to mimic them. They make their own rules.”

“They seemed personally offended about that too.” Shirabu found himself smiling slightly and he flopped back onto the bed.

Terushima adjusted the pillow under his head then laid down next to him, keeping a safe distance between them. “We’re taking our time and that’s perfectly okay.”

“Yuuji, can I ask for something crazy?”

“Go for it.”

“Hold me.”

Terushima ran a hand over Shirabu’s arm. “Slow down. You feel good because we talked things out but that doesn’t mean you have to go for this.”

“No, I’m sure. It’s something I’ve thought about before and I feel more confident now.”

“As long as you’ve thought about it.” Terushima scooted closer. “I know how important it is to you to have time to think.”

Shirabu didn’t reply for a moment as Terushima’s  hands flitted over him and rolled him to his other side. Terushima slid in behind him, sending heat through Shirabu’s back.

“Is this okay?” Terushima asked quietly.

Shirabu nodded. “I’m comfortable if you are.”

Terushima looped an arm around Shirabu’s waist. “Did you think this far?”

“Yes,” Shirabu said. “And if anything, I think tonight has helped.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m confident in us. I’ve been circling for a while. But I think I believe wholeheartedly in us now. I love you.”

Terushima pulled away slightly. “Don’t say that lightly.”

“I’m not. You know me. I wouldn’t just say that. I love you.”

“I love you too. Can we talk more about next steps in the morning?”

Shirabu snickered. “Getting tired?”

“Yeah, kinda. I also feel like I’m getting an overload of unasked-for affection and I think I’ll blow a fuse if you prove to be any cuter than you are right now.”

Shirabu smiled slightly, glad for the darkness in the room to hide the blush across his cheeks.

“Hey, don’t turn away if you’re going to smile all shy like that. You know that’s my weakness.” Terushima laughed and pulled Shirabu back around to face him.

Shirabu allowed the small smile for an instant before burying his face in Terushima’s chest and closing his eyes. Right here was comfortable. Nothing that anyone else could say would make a difference here. Right here, he didn’t need to try to be a better boyfriend because right here he was loved for who he was.


End file.
